Visceraman1 - Joshua Lopez

I think someone was making fun of me for having the bravery to say, in public, that Tonya Harding was not only an attractive woman, but that she was also right for having Nancy assaulted many years ago. For those who haven't been focused on what truly makes this a great country to live in, I calmly, and without judgement refer you to the Tonya Harding Website. Sure, as you take a moment to look up from your Bush is the second coming of Christ halter top you're busily crocheting, you may find it odd that she posts fantasies of people fantasizing about her. Understand however, that this is just a reaction to some ass demanding flouride in the waters of Utah.

Now, back to my own crocheting.

Posted by Joshua at 01:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (35)

For those who thought Kerry was exaggerating when he said his extensive yoga training allows him to maintain a firm grip on his genitalia with his feet, allowing freedom to hold a beer in each hand (citation), I assure you he isn't. A bit of research yielded evidence that not only is it true, he also offers seminar training to share these techniques with others.

Clearly this is a graduate of one of his more advanced seminars. I however am not quite ready for that. I am currently quite cramped up and waiting for Jeri to come home and hand me a fresh beer.

Posted by Joshua at 05:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

October 30 is so far off in the future it's almost like it's another era. What's special about October 30th? Well. Funny you should ask.

There's a special band of performers that will be appearing at the Marquee Theater in Tempe. Now, the last time we were in Gilbert, Gary unwittingly agreed (I think he did it on purpose...) to take Christopher to see Fear Factory the next time they came to Arizona. I'm hopeful that Fear Factory adds a Tucson date, as it's a long drive to make when you've had a dozen or so beers go down your gullet - even though I'll sweat out most of it. I'm getting off the subject here, the short and sweet answer is Fear Factory is coming to town. Or close by. Jeri is going to be so excited when she finds out, she's had a crush (I should be jealous) on Burton and Raymond for the last few years now and always talks about what she'll say when she meets them.

The following are unacceptable excuses for not attending the Fear Factory show:

• I have to work the next day. (so does Fear Factory)
• I have to work that day - (so does Fear Factory)
• It's a long drive - (Fear Factory put forth the effort)
• Who's Fear Factory? - (That's enough Dawn Marie!)
• Ugh Men - (That goes for you too Jeri)
• I have school that day/next day - (Fear Factory is your guest lecturer Gary

Posted by Joshua at 02:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Jeri has apparently lifted the moratorium on guests in our cottage; since she hasn't said anything about the reasons behind this, I'm going to go ahead and A S S U M E that it had something to do with Gary and my behaviour during their last visit. I maintain, that it's perfectly reasonable for grown men to revisit their childhood and assemble a beer bong out of car parts. (What is the proper grammatical structure for "Gary and my"? Anyway, I digress.

We will be hosting the Petersons from Utah, the Theads from Bumfuck Oro Valley, the Brunsons from Tucson, and the Newsons from Gilbert. This means, I will be securing an amazing supply of beer, and will make repeated messes in the kitchen. Are they all coming at the same time? I haven't been made privy to this fact just yet, only that they're coming and I apparently have to paint the living room before they come. Again.

The first time Jeri and I painted together, at the old house on 2nd Avenue, she deemed my painting to be not quite good enough. Red flecks dotted the furniture, carpet, tile, and couch. I was forbidden to paint ever again. Somehow she changed her mind, and I've since been coerced into painting quarterly. I should capture some video footage of this next endeavor for your viewing pleasure (Jeri's quite silly when she's gotten paint sloshed in her hair).

Look for the invites in the mail, what activities should be have?

Posted by Joshua at 09:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (35)

The Godfather was too short of a game, Far Cry Evolution didn't keep me enthralled, and so now I have set about working on Driver. Of course, my attention deficit caused me to return to San Fiero last night. Some day I will actually achieve 100% at least 75% of game completion.

A good lesson was had on Friday. The week prior my porky stumps of fingers knocked my scale out at 208bpm, and this weeks (different key) came out at 176. By the end of the week, I should have this one up to par and can move on. The Beethoven is coming along nicely; I used to have no problem just letting loose at my lesson, but with age and the sabbatical I took, it's not as easy. Someday Jeri will take a picture/video.

Today is a historic day, no I'm not talking about the 12 good representations of the American public that burnt the flag of Mexico, I'm talking about Kerry's package being sent off to him! I started putting this thing together in January, preparing for the potential loss in the Super Bowl. Away it goes, enjoy!

It's been nice working in the yard again, have done a bit of planting - and finally got to meet my neighbour from across the street. We've only lived in the ghetto neighbourhood for almost 3 years now and have finally talked face to face.

Posted by Joshua at 08:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

I made the mistake of stopping by Food City last night for a quart of milk. I suppose it's never a mistake, always a reminder of what could happen if one chooses procreation over sanity. As I stood in the *express* line for the requisite 1/2 hour, I was able to watch a few toddlers in action. Scraping brown ice off the beverage case, eating it. Scraping more ice, dropping it on the floor, eating it. Surely their parents are those who often tout "My child is an absolute genius", to anyone within earshot. I think instead of the campy Olan Mills wallet size portraits people carry of their kids, they should carry photos of the monsters doing what it is they do best.

Posted by Joshua at 08:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)