Main

April 05, 2006

Genius? Me too!

I made the mistake of stopping by Food City last night for a quart of milk. I suppose it's never a mistake, always a reminder of what could happen if one chooses procreation over sanity. As I stood in the *express* line for the requisite 1/2 hour, I was able to watch a few toddlers in action. Scraping brown ice off the beverage case, eating it. Scraping more ice, dropping it on the floor, eating it. Surely their parents are those who often tout "My child is an absolute genius", to anyone within earshot. I think instead of the campy Olan Mills wallet size portraits people carry of their kids, they should carry photos of the monsters doing what it is they do best.

Contrived by Joshua at April 5, 2006 08:49 AM

Comments

I'm 22 years old and I still scrape brown ice off the soda case and eat it. It's just one of those things I never could get over. I think it's the mystery of what people touched with their fingers to make the ice brown that appeals to me so much.

Posted by: Will at April 5, 2006 05:12 PM

Scraping ice off the soda case is perfectly reasonable, but have you been to the Food City by us? Perhaps not ---DAMMIT JERI WHERE ARE THE INVITATIONS?--- For fuckssakes you've been on vacation this week! Now Will, when Jeri gets off her ass and sends the invites, I'll take you to Food City so you can revel in the filth. And don't tell your girlfriend that the milk you bought was marked down to 45 cents/gallon.

Posted by: Joshua at April 5, 2006 06:36 PM

I should go on to say that I am more of a licker than scrape/eater. Walls, lightswitches, mailboxes, elevator buttons - I like to try everything. I've found that I can save money by just licking the cafeteria trays rather than buying anything. I bet those bags full of life saving blood found all over the Red Cross Life Saving facility are pretty lickable. I won't lick anything at Sonora Quest - I'm afraid it will start draining the life out of me.

Jeri if you don't send the invites out, I will.

Posted by: Joshua at April 5, 2006 06:43 PM

I'll tell you what you can lick buddy, my sweaty hard workin ass.

Posted by: doddle at April 5, 2006 07:36 PM

Ok, but then will you get those invites out?

Posted by: Joshua at April 5, 2006 09:29 PM

after we spruce up, then the invites.

Posted by: doddle at April 6, 2006 04:22 AM

Jeri,

Obviously, Mr. Lopez is correct, your water is not safe.

Posted by: Kerry at April 20, 2006 01:43 PM

Hot damn, I've got it in writing....(Mr. Lopez is correct)...(and he's not talking about my dad either). Kerry also wants to know where the fuck his invite is.

Posted by: Joshua at April 20, 2006 05:09 PM

And...Kerry does carry a picture of me in his wallet. There's a old faded picture of Jeri, sitting in her high chair, curly hair out of hand, finger pointing away as well.

Posted by: Joshua at April 24, 2006 01:46 PM

Not sure where that came from (does it ever really matter,) but I also have a picture (captured from a video clip) of Tonya Harding ... which may lead you to believe that Utah's water is not much better. But I think she's hot.

Posted by: Kerry at April 25, 2006 12:11 PM

I'll drink the Utah water anytime, everyone knows that Tonya is as hot as they come.

Posted by: Joshua at April 25, 2006 12:50 PM