Visceraman1 - Joshua Lopez

When Visceraman1 first reared it's ugly (and I mean UGLY) head a couple years ago now, it was in the form of a flash site. It came about shortly after returning from our honeymoon, with 700+ photos in tow, and a desire to post them in a public forum. Somehow in the course of this event, (or even slightly before), I had begun fumbling around with Adobe Nee: Macromedia's Flash program. This hooked me, and after I bombarded Jeri with several hundred .swf files of globes bouncing around the scree, animated words bouncing around, and a few more bouncing animals I began to take the shit seriously. Not being 100% dedicated to coding - I realized I had to also learn Photoshop, and since Jeri had taken to marking any email from me as spam, had to be able to get this crap on the internet.

Around this time, I was also burning out in the funeral industry. A "career" built upon repetition, no upward movement and lackluster pay was motivating me to look elsewhere for a source of income. Could I somehow incorporate my new found fascination with a new career path? All signs indicated a positive and emphatic yes. (We'll get to how wrong I was later). I sped down the path. Html, Xhtml, CSS, Flash/ActionScript were soon learned and (with the exception of really advance ActionScript), I felt I had enough strength behind me to muster. Along the way Visceraman1 evolved from a deeply hidden site on my ISP server, with 0 traffic on a good day (I've subtracted the 500 daily hits from my own browsing), to the beginnings of a portfolio site on my own dedicated server. (Not my own in truth, I of course found cheap webhosting).

The move to a new server also spawned the addition of a weblog to the Visceraman1 site. Now, in addition to the slurry of links that took them to giant mp3 players, paint the screen silly, a few attempts at game making, visitors could also read whatever it was that I felt necessary to post that day. And that was lame at best. (I know, not much better these days either). Soon, the weblog drifted off to a separate link, hidden away from most. This didn't last long. As I slowly realized I didn't quite have the makings of a "professional"web person, but rather that of a decent hobbiest (egos fall quick and hard), I decided fuck it, let's use this blog thing to force myself to write on a regular basis, and about varying topics.

This is actually harder than it seems. I used to go days/weeks without writing, because I had "nothing" to write about. When I would write, it leaned more towards, "The United States of America really doesn't give a damn about you or me", "The Tucson Police Department is a bunch of fucking keystone lackies with no sense of morality", or "Hey check out this shit I did with Photoshop". And those entries, were the better of the bunch. Periodically I would sit down, and force myself to write everyday. I would keep this up for great lengths, but stil I found my content lacking.

In retrospect, what has the evolution of Visceraman1 brought about? Less Flash (hell, I haven't opened the program in several months - I don't even know what the current version is), and less fanatical rantings about government misdeeds. Great. Don't think I'm stopping anytime soon - I just had to come up with something to say. I'm incredibly grateful for the change that did occur in my career however. Each day I'm presented with new challenges, new endeavors and I'm always learning more about the human body - a subject that has always humbled and amazed me. I still look forward to going to work, still smile each morning when I look up at the towering building, and even with the occasional bumps that line the day, I never regret my change.

Posted by Joshua at 05:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

I forgot to whip out my trusty copy of "Colour & Cosmetics" while I was at work today, of course I had a fairly busy day, and will have a busy week ahead of me - that however, is off topic discussion. It's been some time since I flipped through the book, and I have apparently forgotten how much purple goes into the mix when creating brown.

Saturday after Jeri finished her Sonora Quest punishments, we headed over to the local Home Depot to pick up some brown paint for the bedroom. While Jeri had remembered to neatly stow the measurements of the air filter we need, she neglected to include the colour swatch she had tirelessly picked out several weeks prior. -- -- I must interject and comment on the unabashed, rude behaviour exhibited by Tucson folks while perusing paint swatches. Is it really necessary to squat and block entire pallettes from others? Is there a reason why you can't simply select a few swatches, and then step away from the area? Not here in Tucson apparently. Good god...just imagine what we would have encountered had we (shudder) headed over to the East side.. -- --. We agreed on something called either Traditional, or Howard - once we arrived home we discovered that neither was what Jeri had picked out. (A lot of words for saying nothing?). There's a lot of fucking purple in that brown paint. It looks good though. AND! We hung two new sets of window blinds....now that, would make a certain handyman in Utah grin with pride. (If he saw the shelf I hung in the kitchen...he'd piss himself!)

Will, congratulations on the upcoming wedding. I understand that the (soon to be) Mrs. Thread [I know], was horrified at the prospect of a Jew and a Mexican being in attendance, as if being your friends wasn't enough to get us booted from the attendance roster. (I know, you didn't come to our wedding, but I was still fuming at Kerry for not inviting us to his). When you're out in California, keep an eye out for Larry David. He's probably nowhere near San Francisco this time of year but give it a shot. Rob Flynn is in the Bay area, and so is Joe Satriani so stay alert.

Posted by Joshua at 10:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)

I am supposed to be the great procastinator dammit. So what exactly are Jeri and Kerry waiting for before they forward their entry submissions? God only knows. Perhaps Jeri is waiting to see what sort of disaster I cause when applying the additional paint to the budoir? (Yes, we're painting...again.). Or perhaps Kerry has been busy buying supplies to work on Jeri's crafting room, and is wanting to keep a log? We shall see.

The site changes are pretty well finished. The audio player is back, although I've made zero changes to it's .xml file, so it's still set to Jeri's favourite Transgression tracks. I was going to make a few changes to it the other day, but reasons I don't fully understand, I can no longer use iTunes on my computer here. Over the winter break, I upgraded to a newer version, and after the installer uninstalled the version that existed on the computer, it suddenly couldn't write to a folder and failed. Maybe once a month, I spend some time puttering with it, trying to figure things out more but it's really not that important - and what does this have to do with iTunes anyway? Nothing, I digressed quite badly.

A sample of Vintage Syrian Latakia arrived on my doorstep yesterday. Apparently this will be released into the masses in July, and if I said "I think I might order some", it probably wouldn't surprise Jeri in the least. My god it was tasty. After Kerry finishes the crafting room, he's going to have to put some shelves up to create a cellar of sorts.

Posted by Joshua at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (18)

I've tended to stay away from any "technical" commenting here, but I was looking through the server report for Visceraman1-Joshua Lopez, and thought some of the search referrals that brought people to Visceraman1 were fairly odd. For the curious:

• how to get out the drippings from the throat
• beard + color
• hairpiece + rug +bad picture
• uneven forearm hair growth
• growing my beard out
• horse poop
• santa claus shot jfk
• a pleasure to make your acquaintance
• real last supper
• worst hairline
• tonya harding honeymoon video
• what are the parts of goatee
• fucki
• carla hogue
• fat bald guy with goatee pictures
• flouride + tucson
• pessin + voss
• growing a full beard
• a ton of chuck norris searches

Posted by Joshua at 04:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)

In the course of my ongoing research project, my preliminary microscopy show evidence that I am indeed on the every other week plan with my lessons. Findings that indicate a cancellation phone call is made every other week appears to back this up. Or course, by the time I receive that phone call, I'm already home in preparation of said lesson, so what am I to do? In an attempt to make my Peterson mentor proud, I begin with a few chilled light beers and some piping. (Sure, my mentor might be a bit more proud if I developed my handyman skills while enjoying the beverages, but I maintain that the "handy" trait skips a generation, and was not passed on to me - and that is why the mentor is building the porch.)

What the hell ever happened to customer service? I'm beginning to think that the youth are taught, beginning at an early age that it is honorable to be as rude as possible to customers. My weekend was marked with this sort of behaviour, beginning with a Happy Meal for Jeri from Mc'Donalds, and finished with horrendous service from both the Tinderbox and Anthony's. Oddly, I only went to Anthony's because of the bad service from the T-box, only to met with worse service there. At least my presence was acknowledged by the T-box, if only because I blocked the view of the t.v. on occassion. Fuckers, that's two more letters I have to write now, and my shopping will be done via this internet thing Jeri's always raving about.

Dedicated readers may be concerned with the sudden disappearance of Will. I received a telegram from him on Friday. Will is very hard at work spearheading the Arizona celebration of the National Day of Slayer. Kerry is also working very hard on this celebration, but in a different capacity. (Photo to the left) Sure, there are many who know that Kerry "King" is the, well one of, the guitarists from the former speed metal now tejano band, but I bet you didn't know that "Kerry" from Visceraman1, was the "King" himself did you? (I could have mentioned this years ago, but was asked not to until now.)

Last week it was the deluxe cat box, this week it is the Petsmate Water Fountain. Jeri has been promising to buy them this fountain for weeks now, and for weeks the mere mention of the water fountain elicted summersaults, back flips off the loft and much hand clapping from the cats. This weekend, Jeri made good on her word and bought the fountain, and sadly the cats can't pull themselves away from steady ass licking to drink from it. (I wish I had taken a picture of Jeri drinking from it to demonstrate how good the water was).

Posted by Joshua at 08:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should young Doodle.

I confessed to Jeri last night about my inability to eat the chicken tenders from the cafeteria anymore; due to the fact that I had witnessed someone reach in and grab with their hands, rather than use the conveniently provided tongs. When I first thought about confessing, I was confident that Jeri would see things from my perspective, and not only voice her opinion of complete agreement, but perhaps bed me down with fellatio as well for having to cope with this fear in the first place. Surprisingly (ok perhaps not so), I found myself on the business end of one lacking the logical Y chromosome. Sure, I am constantly horrified at the number of people who abstain from handwashing, and realize that they too may be the one not only cooking my food, but adjusting it on the plate with their bare hands. And yes, I do realize that the gloves worn by the people making my sandwich have been worn for several days, perhaps while in the confines of the restroom, while mopping the floor, or while adjusted their Tucks pad.

I let Jeri berate me for about 20 minutes, at which time I rose to freshen my pipe and get another beer. As I turned the corner, I quietly took note of the 16 bottles of Instant Hand Sanitizer neatly lined up on her side of the bed.

Posted by Joshua at 12:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

And the celebration of Jeri's birthing event has drawn to a close.

Friday, after dashing home to change into my tuxedo for the music festival, I find that I am once again banned from traveling to Tucson's Eastside. So I had no choice but to calmly enjoy my whiskey cavendish and a bit of this newfangled Coors product prior to heading over to have some life drained in the waiting room of Sonora Quest. (Interesting side note, a quick Google search for Sonora Quest has Visceraman1 showing up 7th....good? Bad?) I digress. I had planned on taking Jeri to Feast, however we couldn't park the subcompact pick up near the restaurant and to avoid a tantrum, we went to Macayo's. The margarita was good, though not nearly enough, and the pollo con espinaca was good as always. A stop by Home Depot, and home for a bit more beer, cavendish and harrassment.

Earlier in the week our catbox broke. It seemed like excellent logic to take the mechanical portion outside for a good hosing - at least that's what I tell Jeri so she doesn't feel badly about breaking it. Yesterday the replacement, or rather upgraded replacement, the LM 900 was christened by the small army of cats. I was going to take a picture of the christening party, but Jeri's lower lip started quivering in anger. The LM900 features an ionic air cleaner to help with those delicious treats as well. It also plays a medley of cat favourites, dispenses treats and has a separate tray for cat vomit. The geniuses at Litter-Maid have done something to the vomit tray that actually encourages cats to vomit there, as opposed to say the couch or rug. Then, just as with the poo, it cleans itself saving me from gagging.

Yes, I also played a bit of KOTR , but most importantly I drank a bit ofrefreshing beer.

Jeri damaged her tooth, but I'll let her fill you in on that one.

Posted by Joshua at 08:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (31)