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June 01, 2006

A loyal fan

tonya hardingI had told Kerry that I would do my best to contact Tonya Harding to see about the possibility of setting up a web cam feed, or to see if she could send a few video clips - the real videos, not the "here I am skating around and around" that are available from her website. Of course, I headed over to her website, to see what sort of contact information I could find. After being briefly delayed by some of the skating videos (who doesn't like short skirts?), I started to suspect that her website was a hoax. An evil deed perpetrated by (I suspect) none other than Nancy "Why why why" Kerrigan. My first clue was this statement:

"It would be having enough money to go hunting and fishing and go to the big four-wheel-drive mud bogs," she says. "And every once in a while put on a really pretty dress and go to dinner at a place like Applebee's or something."

Now, true Tonya fans know that she's a classy chick. Granted her fame, fortune or sex appeal hasn't driven her to an elitist level, where she will only eat at 5 star, shi-shi restaurants, where she is spoon fed her consomme by an Argentenian elf (or Matt Rowloff if he's available. But Applebee's? Come the fuck on. Just how stupid do you think we are Nancy? And, a pretty dress? Tonya knows perfectly well that only those living on the East side of Tucson put on good clothes to wait 40+ minutes for cheese sticks, chicken strips, and Steam-Um sandwiches.

I have so far been unable to locate contact information, but I have posted a message to the website, first touting the wonders of Tonya, as well as requesting information about the possibility of receiving an autographed photo of her. If I'm able to get this photo, I suspect there will some trouble at home. That trouble of course being, Which photo gets to be placed in the shrine? My photo of Tonya, or Jeri's collection of Dog memorabilia.


Contrived by Joshua at June 1, 2006 10:20 AM

Comments

Problem solved, send the photo to me. Teg has forced herself to accept my pursuit.

Posted by: Kerry at June 1, 2006 11:39 AM

I may send you the photo, but only to borrow. You are to keep it in plastic, I don't want it returned in the same condition you sent my Mary Kate Olson photo in.

Posted by: Joshua at June 1, 2006 11:43 AM

Deal! Sorry about the Olson photo, things got out of hand.

Posted by: Kerry at June 1, 2006 11:58 AM

It's okay. I think their publicist is growing suspicious of me, what with that being the 12th picture they've sent. (Look, if Dodge would make a better lid for the Velvatone, I would still be on picture number 2)

Posted by: Joshua at June 1, 2006 12:08 PM

Velvatone sinks in to fast for me, I switched to Kalon a few years ago.

Posted by: Kerry at June 1, 2006 01:49 PM

Kalon, now that's the grown up shit there. Jeri forbids my using it in the house ever since the mishap with the "suntan" Kaloncreme. My eyes were closed, and it doesn't feel any different. I think she has some pictures somewhere...

Posted by: Joshua at June 1, 2006 03:45 PM