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October 24, 2006

Dear Diary

In my inbox today, amid the threatening letters from DMORT, was a fairly innocuous message. I opened it up and began reading. Lines like "You are one of my heroes...." "I quiver in your presence...." filled the first few paragraphs. I checked the senders address again, (only my brother sends email like that). Nope, not NoahPoah. I shrugged my shoulders and continued reading.

I absolutely cannot bring myself to repeat the phrase that was penned. It was a horrifying experience just to read it, much less allow such blasphemy to leave my lips.

How fucking dare you Mr. Mister!!

As President of the Southern Arizona Chapter of the Carly Simon Association, and as a member of the Board of Drectors for the Western Region Committee for the Preservation of All Things Carly; I speak not only from my heart, but from the hearts of nearly 800 proud Carly Simon fans. This is an outrage, and actions such as this cannot be tolerated, not only does it hurt Carly's feelings, but it is just MEAN MEAN MEAN!! (The extra explanation mark means I am really mad!!!)

Flicking off "However Much I Booze", which was currently playing on Pandora, I switched to my Carly Only channel.
Rather appropriately, the song "Comforting to Know" came on. The line "There's a shadow looking like a rainbows halo" immediately brought cheer to my heart.

Following came a medley of favourites, "Winnie the Pooh", "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and "Uncle Peter". This brought back memories of the summer my parents took Jeri, myself and my brother to a winos house in Ft. Bowie. Both Noah and Jeri couldn't stop singing those songs! Cackling, giggling and gas passing were constant throught the trip!

Anyway. Anyone who doesn't love Carly, hasn't really appreciated the intensity of "In The Name Of The Hundred Acre Wood", or relished the haunting melody of "Hurt".

And besides, the tickets were $150 and I got an autograph from Carly too!

Contrived by Joshua at October 24, 2006 03:03 PM

Comments

hhhmmmpppffff

Posted by: doddle at October 25, 2006 04:19 AM

Carly sang all those? wow. Im only familiar with "your so vain" which I routinely sing to Donna (not her real name)at work.

Posted by: doddle at October 25, 2006 04:21 AM

Dearest Carly has been extremely prolific with her song writing. If you'd like, I have a Trapper Keeper full of her lyrics that we can sing someday.

Posted by: Joshua at October 25, 2006 06:43 AM

Thank you Joshua for coming to the defence of my friend (and superdupper artist) Carly Simon.
I can not tell you how much I appreciate your work on the petition drive to induct me into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ... with you at my side, I know it will happen.
Thank you (and Doodle) again, for inspiring me to write and perform my album, "BRIGHTON BEACH"
For your unremitting advocacy to Rock and Roll's true expression is appreciated by me. I will reward your efforts in the next mystery box.
By the way, Barry Manilow asked me to ask you, if you would keep the last moonlight tryst discreet ... should I be jealous?

Posted by: Neil Sadaka at October 25, 2006 08:12 AM

Joshua,

I couldn't have expressed it better. You are the Rocking Rolling Man, my Rocking Rolling Man. Kudos!!!

Posted by: Lionel Ritchie at October 25, 2006 09:24 AM

"Hello? Is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes...I can feel it in your smile...."

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

AND WEIRD!

I just had the anatomy lab reenacting the video for "All Night Long"! God it was awesome! And then, to see that you visited! Oh my!

Holy crap! "Running With The Night" just came up on my playlist!

The Universe loves me today!

Posted by: Joshua at October 25, 2006 10:07 AM

"donna" is her stage name. I use the word stage very liberally, if you know what I mean, and I think you do!

Posted by: doodle at October 25, 2006 07:11 PM

And see, that's what makes me mad as H E Double Hockey Sticks!

*Donna*, is not a name that should be tossed around without thought. (It's not a stripper name like say, "America", "Tiffany", or "La Keisha".)

It's a horrid insult to THE Donna, that being Ms. Donna Summer. I am going to contact my friend, the Acting Secretary of the Temple of Donna later this morning.

My friend is a powerful man so you can expect to see this "Donna" character removed sometime today.

Posted by: Joshua at October 26, 2006 06:54 AM

I totally disagree, any cognomen is worthy of any performing artist ... with extraordinary countenance sanctioned strippers. Geeeezzzzz!!!!

Posted by: Kerry at October 26, 2006 08:42 AM

*gasp...sputter...gasp*

Doodle (aka Doddle) and Kerry have apparently been meeting in secret and planning this little scheme to perpetuate the public smearing of Donna's name, reputation and inner beauty.

You are both VERY lucky that Sputter '78 just started playing, forcing me to do my Paul Stanley dance, otherwise I'd have some stern words for the two of you!

Posted by: Joshua at October 26, 2006 09:06 AM

If I were Donna Summer (AND I AM NOT,) I would much rather be known as a stripper (or porn star,) than a person who created the fetid dribble, she did.

Okay, she created successful fetid dribble (I do not understand it.)

To the good Donna (Doodle's co-worker) ... as a connoisseur of your high art, would you comp a bit of your work to me?

Posted by: Kerry at October 27, 2006 08:16 AM

Um Kerry......did we forget about 1976? You were a porn star, and in fact called yourself DD Summer. Remember? You would only perform if you were wearing your Foghat concert t-shirt? (from the Fool for the City tour.)

I suppose it is possible that you were hopped up on the devil's weed at the time and don't remember.

Doodle has a signed Beta tape which I'm sure she'd be willing to dig out, along with my rodeo performance.

Posted by: Joshua at October 27, 2006 08:53 AM

No Joshua, the series of movies were called "DP Summer" ... Kerry, partnering up with Peter North, plowed through a plethora of buxom vixens. Sadly, no one has remastered the artful works from the original video disk format.
I am not sure how you got the t-shirt logo cumfused, he always wore Pink Floyd attire.

Posted by: Tonya at October 27, 2006 09:44 AM

I didn't think anyone would remember, I am horrified!!! I only did it to raise money for "The Help Remove Ignorant Lobster Lovers" (THRILL) foundation. I may never be able to show my pros here again, I am soooo em-bare-assed.

Posted by: Kerry at October 27, 2006 11:00 AM

I'm sorry Kerry, I didn't mean to rattle the Universe like that. Everything is going to be a-okay, I promise.

I have some pretty exciting news to report as well!

Posted by: Joshua at October 27, 2006 04:45 PM