May 08, 2006

I Don't Get It

kennyvsspennyNo doubt the universe is unfolding as it should young Doodle.

I confessed to Jeri last night about my inability to eat the chicken tenders from the cafeteria anymore; due to the fact that I had witnessed someone reach in and grab with their hands, rather than use the conveniently provided tongs. When I first thought about confessing, I was confident that Jeri would see things from my perspective, and not only voice her opinion of complete agreement, but perhaps bed me down with fellatio as well for having to cope with this fear in the first place. Surprisingly (ok perhaps not so), I found myself on the business end of one lacking the logical Y chromosome. Sure, I am constantly horrified at the number of people who abstain from handwashing, and realize that they too may be the one not only cooking my food, but adjusting it on the plate with their bare hands. And yes, I do realize that the gloves worn by the people making my sandwich have been worn for several days, perhaps while in the confines of the restroom, while mopping the floor, or while adjusted their Tucks pad.

I let Jeri berate me for about 20 minutes, at which time I rose to freshen my pipe and get another beer. As I turned the corner, I quietly took note of the 16 bottles of Instant Hand Sanitizer neatly lined up on her side of the bed.

Contrived by Joshua at May 8, 2006 12:09 PM

Comments

While I understand pet peeves, and even sympathize with you ... no bed or fellatio from me either buddy. Now, why would Jeri feel the need to keep Hand-San at the bed side?

There are days, when one may place one's gaze, upon the sun itself without being blinded. Today was such a day ... I saw an image of Jeri ... I'm dazzled, entranced, I bask in the glory of her beauty ... you wouldn't mind if I kept that keg for myself would you Jeri?

Posted by: Kerry at May 8, 2006 01:28 PM

I like to think she only keeps it by the bed until the shelving unit she's having built by a skilled craftsman in Utah is completed. I'm sure that once you finish the unit, you can keep the keg.

It is possible that I wake her periodically with my snoring, and she douses the inside of my mouth for fresher room note.

Posted by: Joshua at May 8, 2006 02:15 PM

I, Jeri doodle Lopez would like to state for the record that I took "Logic" and passed with an A, my husband, did not even have it offered with his program. So.....

Posted by: doodle at May 8, 2006 07:44 PM

It is all cleared up then! I was a bit confused over the matter ... but then Doodles words fell upon my eyes, nourishing my mind, like the the gentle rain falling upon the desert cactus ... after all, she had the logic and whereabouts to hook up for life with Joshua!

Now, back to that keg Jeri... logic would dictate: 1.) since you do not drink beer 2.) you do not want Joshua to become an alcoholic 3.) you are kind hearted 4.) you know that I am immune to alcoholism ... that it would only be logical to hand the keg to me.

Posted by: Kerry at May 9, 2006 11:14 AM

(pst...doodle...tell him we'll bring the keg with us to Utah.)

Jeri is quite kind hearted, but...she's been known to down a pint of Fat Tire on occasion. Ok, that may be a slight exaggeration, she'll drink half a pint when we're in Bisbee, then she quite slyly(?) slides the glass towards me. Mmmm Fat Tire.

I'm waiting for Jeri to start honing scotch skills.

Posted by: Joshua at May 9, 2006 12:53 PM