Birthing
Happy Birthday Miss Stephanie!
August 05, 2008
May 05, 2008
Happy Once
Since I played the part of the abusive husband this year, and neglected to do anything for Sweet Jeri's birthday (yet) - (And perhaps that's why she hasn't talked to me this week..), it was left to other sources:
My Parents making her eat:
Again with the parents....or is it me?
And also with her side of the family, that's the infamous Uncle Pat
March 16, 2008
Little Brat
Partway through The Butterfly Lovers Concerto I heard some rustling. Later I find that Jeri has learned to create a ghillie suit out of that hair of hers....
January 27, 2008
How Proud She Is
Now that she's been relocated from Bisbee to Tucson.
January 20, 2008
Travels With Jeri
I had the opportunity to spend some quiet time with Sweet Jeri the last few days (well, quiet for me that is...she endured the ever constant flow of bi-polar nonsense that streams from my mouth....wait...that's another entry..). To mark the 6 years of patience, we headed South for on of our favourite destinations.
On the way, we made a brief, yet requisite stop in Tombstone, where, incidentally the remaining objects I needed to complete my best friends glycerin project were nowhere to be found. (Fuckers!) Instead I did see:
A hearse
And of course, a Tombstone at Boothill Cemetery
Then, I apparently began whining, so we got back in the car and continued on our way. (I did get my ice cream though!)
The Inn we stayed in was immaculate, sumptuous, and perfect for our trip. I trust young Jeri will add a few remarks, regarding the inn later.
Looking towards the balcony:
And off the balcony:
We feasted:
(note the inappropriate term)
How it looks...sort of...
Jeri's well burnt steak (it's how she likes it....weird-o!)
And what she tends to leave behind (weird-o!)
The town can, and is incredibly difficult to photograph, at least for fat fingered boys like myself It's a beautiful, comforting environment, much like my wife, who is my life!
January 17, 2008
A Mixing We Will Go
Jeri made another wise investment in her future......ta da:
Thank you Doodle!
December 06, 2007
Dear Diary: Keep Practicing
Ok, so Bear Grylls, Les Stroud, and of course, K-Dog I'm not. Yet....but then again, it's early yet. After hearing that over 90 people are attacked by the Wild Doodle each year (That's nearly 2 people a week!), I set out to see if I could show you, the viewer, how to survive a Wild Doodle attack.
Fortunately, when she knocked the camera out of my hands, the power was cut off, preventing the viewer from hearing my childish, and very girlish shrieks, and the copius micturating on the floor preventing viewers from learning how they too can fend off an attack using just a grommet, common house plant leaf, and spit.
August 05, 2007
I Dedicate
this post to my friend Stephanie in celebration of her birth. Who else could appreciate this fine specimen that i spotted in the middle of a monsoon. My lovely husband for being sweet enough to slam on the breaks. I love the both of you weirdos!
July 01, 2007
Doodle's Acquisition
June 23, 2007
THIS ONES FOR YOU STEPH.
The clock collection nicely captured in reflection
Profile
Standing in Lotus
Alms bowl (with prayer for breast cancer patient)
Detail of headdress
It is with profound sadness that you could not be here with me to have a glass of wine, to see Buddha and to save me from Dr. Dommisse!
Doodling On A Saturday Night
Saturday night, fresh Mojito in my new Cirque Highballs!
January 10, 2007
Dear Diary: You Really Said That?
A little while ago, maybe 5 years or so, give or take (1,825 days); I nimbly maneuvered my Chrysler Tremonton into the drive, and strolled across the street, Bill Melcher in tow, and threw open the doors of the Buffet. As my eyes adjusted to the pitch darkness, I was able to see everyone suffer from the blast of light I invoked upon them. I sat down with Bill, ordered a pitcher or two, and smoked a few cigarettes.
I had no idea that just a few moments later (18 minutes), a somewhat intoxicated woman would come up and force me to do something that would forever change my life.
We've done a lot these 5 years Doodle, wait 'til you see what the next 5 have in store for us.
All this is yours, and I love you!
November 27, 2006
Babies On The Way
Happy Birthday Jeri!
July 31, 2006
2 things
Jeri's taken to watching Rockstar: Supernova and I have but two things to say about the show.
- I despise Tommy Lee, and have no respect for him or anyone who admires him.
- Brook Burke is pathetic.
February 06, 2006
Vascular Sandwich
Tomorrow marks the first day that of Jeri's work in Vascular Atresiatic Exostasis. Of course, due to her diligence and unyielding heart shaped ass, she will be working at the vascular center that was her first choice....good job Monkey!
January 19, 2006
Heroes
When Jeri was going through some old family photos, I found some sort of report, essay or some other intellectual fodder she had been working on at some point in her life. Fortunately I was able to steal it for a minute and post it here:
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time".
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
- Chuck Norris could have any woman he wants, but he has never had sex. He only masturbates because the only person good enough to have sex with Chuck is Chuck.
- Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
- As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
- A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
- President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day.
- To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
- Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
- Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
- Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
September 28, 2005
Good Morning
Waking up to you is one of my favourite things in life
August 15, 2005
Jeri's Morgue Shots
Hooked
Donkey
Cannery
Mummified
Instrumental
